


Dreams of Dragon's Fire

by thebiwholived



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, Multi, curtain!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-18
Updated: 2013-11-18
Packaged: 2018-01-02 00:38:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebiwholived/pseuds/thebiwholived
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Dean has bad days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams of Dragon's Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from a line in the song "Enter Sandman" by Metallica.

It’s been three years since Dean stopped hunting and sometimes he has bad days.

Days when he wakes up, after Benny’s left for the diner and Cas has gone out in search of some more volunteer work to do, and he can’t find the energy to get out of bed. He tries to care enough to call the garage and tell them he won’t be in. Tries and fails and feels like shit for it.

He stares at the wall and considers going back to sleep, but there’s nothing in his dreams he wants to see. Instead he burrows into the sheets and flicks on the TV. Flips mindlessly through the channels, settles arbitrarily on the Food Network. He’s watching some chick sample a sweet potato soufflé when his cellphone goes off, the guitar riff of “Enter Sandman” obnoxious in the quiet room, touching off the slow build of a headache at the base of Dean’s skull. The phone falls silent and then rings twice more before whoever it is gives up. Dean pulls the blankets tighter around himself.

Half an hour goes by and a dude in the most ridiculous pink apron Dean’s ever seen is making some kind of chili. Dean realizes it’s pretty close to the recipe Bobby used to use. He jams his thumb into the remote and stares at the screen until he becomes aware he’s turned it to the Disney Channel. _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_ is on. As if from a million years ago, Dean hears the faint echo of that stupid joke he made to Zachariah. He doesn’t change the channel. He kind of likes the show, and he’s too focused on trying to swallow the lump in his throat anyway.

He gets through two episodes before he hears the inevitable sound of the front door opening. “Dean?” comes the frantic call. Hurried footsteps through the entryway, down the hall. “Dean, are you-?”

Cas stops in the bedroom doorway. Dean blinks slowly up at him, doing his best to keep the guilt off his face. But all he sees in Cas’ eyes is a brief flash of relief before his features melt into an expression of sad understanding. Dean drags his eyes back to the TV. He feels a weight settle on the bed next to him.

“David called me. He was worried, said you never showed up to work.”

Dean twitches his shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. Tries to ignore the hot wave of shame that sweeps up from the bottom of his stomach when Cas runs a hand through his hair and says softly, “Do you want me to call Benny?”

Dean wants to say yes, but he feels too much like a sick kid whining for his mommy so he mutters, “No, 's fine. ‘M fine.” His voice cracks slightly on the last word. Cas nods like he expected that, hand still settled on Dean’s head, thumb gently moving back and forth across his temple.

“Have you eaten anything?” Another aborted shrug. “Alright, I’ll be back in a minute.”

Dean misses the hand in his hair as soon as it’s gone and he wants to call after Cas that he’s not hungry anyway, but the lines of communication between his brain and mouth seem to have jammed so he lies there and breathes and waits.

Cas comes back with a ham and cheese sandwich and a glass of tap water. Dean refuses the sandwich but gives in to the water (“You need fluids, Dean. Just a little, can you do that for me?”) and listens gratefully as Cas calls Dean’s boss to tell him he’s ill and that he’ll call later with an update. After all that’s taken care of, Cas changes into his favorite pajamas (kitten-patterned, Dean bought them as a joke, for Christ’s sake) and settles in next to Dean to watch some _Good Luck Charlie_.

It’s a relief, having Cas there. He keeps up a running commentary on the show, asking hypothetical questions and expressing his never-ending consternation at the terrible choices the characters make, his gravelly voice washing over Dean’s mind and chasing away the thoughts that have been going around and around in his head all morning. Cas makes sure they’re always touching. Their arms resting against each other, their feet tangled together. A hand in Dean’s hair or rubbing his back, silently telling him that he’s not alone in this.

When Benny gets home that evening, they listen as he hangs up his coat and drops his keys on the counter, shuffles around in the kitchen. A minute later he enters the bedroom and stops short, taking in the fact that Dean is under a pile of blankets with his head in Cas’ lap, an exhaustion in his eyes that has little to do with lack of sleep. Benny meets Cas’ gaze and an unspoken understanding passes between them.

Shrugging out of his overshirt, Benny comes around the bed and bends to kiss Dean’s forehead, holds a hand against his cheek. “How you doin’, sugar?” Dean’s only answer is to lean further into the touch. Benny smooths his thumb over Dean’s cheekbone and looks over his head at Cas. “He eat anything today?”

Cas shakes his head and gestures hopelessly at the now-stale sandwich on the bedside table. Raises a shoulder, indicating he tried. “I’ll go make something,” he says, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “You’ve been cooking all day.”

“’M not hungry,” Dean mumbles as Benny scoots in next to him, mirroring the position Cas just vacated. “I know, babe, but you gotta eat.” Benny slings an arm across Dean’s back and pulls him closer. “Maybe somethin’ small,” he adds to Cas.

Cas closes the door on the way out, but Dean can still hear his voice from the living room, talking to Sam on the phone, cancelling the plans the four of them had to catch a movie that night. Unexpectedly, Dean feels tears prick his eyes and he feels like a fucking toddler but he buries his face in Benny’s side. Could he be any more useless?

Benny just cards a hand through his hair and murmurs “Shh, it’s okay, Dean, you’re okay. Everything’s gonna be fine.” Drops a kiss on top of his head. “I’m so proud of you.” Dean gives a humorless, hopeless little laugh and Benny tightens his hold. Rubs his back in slow circles as he glances up at the TV for the first time.

“Man, what kind of crap have y’all been watchin’?” Benny asks, leaning across Dean to grab the remote from Cas’ side of the bed. He flicks quickly through the channels and lands on a documentary about naval aircraft carriers.

Cas comes back with a box of saltines, a bottle of ginger ale, and a bar of chocolate. They manage to get Dean to sit up and choke down some crackers and a few squares of Hershey’s Special Dark before he slides back under the covers.

Darkness settles slowly over the three of them until Benny reluctantly gets up to close the blinds and Cas switches on the bedside lamp, casting a warm glow over the room. Benny shucks his t-shirt, which still smells strongly of fried food, and changes into a pair of sweatpants before settling back into bed. Dean reattaches to him like a magnet, chooses to ignore how pathetic he feels for that, and reaches back to find Cas, who’s already shifting closer to spoon him from behind.

With the brilliant sensations of Cas pressed against his back and Benny’s broad chest moving steadily up and down with breath under his cheek, Dean finds the energy to make a comment about the absurdly attractive naval officer currently being interviewed onscreen, which earns him a chuckle from Benny and light pinch on the ass from Cas.

Dean’s not sure exactly when he falls asleep, but when he wakes up he’s facing Cas, and Benny’s holding him from behind, a thick, muscled arm folded tightly around his waist. Cas has Dean’s head nestled under his chin. He can feel their fingers intertwined against Cas’ chest. The TV’s been turned off and the lights are out, nothing to break the silence but the sound of Cas and Benny breathing softly on either side of him. Dean smiles and drifts slowly back to sleep.

In the morning, Dean gets out of bed and Benny makes them all breakfast before he has to leave, stopping briefly to kiss his boys goodbye. Dean showers and shaves and puts on fresh clothes. When he gets out of the bathroom, Cas is ready to go too. Dean grabs his cellphone and coveralls, snags his keys off the hook as they head out the front door together. They share a quick peck on the lips and exchange their “I love you”s and “have a good day”s and Cas heads down the sidewalk on foot to indulge in the daily walk he’s so fond of. Dean stares after him for a moment and then climbs into the Impala and backs out of the driveway. He whistles on his way to work.


End file.
